Archives for category: Articles

Big Baby —

emotionterrain

download image

Toastmasters Research Project

Emotional Intelligence a.k.a. People Smarts, with a focus on becoming more self aware in order to become less self centered.

The following information is not a transcript of the speech video. This blog post is here to provide additional details, and a list of the reference material where I did most of the research.

Please see the video on LinkedIn.

The Grammarian had chosen “retrospective” as the word of the day, so that is why everyone was tapping on the table when I included it in my speech.

The challenge is to do a self awareness exercise for 30 days. Pick a time of the day when you will journal the emotions you had in the last 24 hours. You may find the above image helpful in finding more precise words to describe your emotions. Note: The blog just shows a thumbnail, so if you download the image then you will have higher resolution to zoom in.


One related concept from “The Communication Catalyst:”

Anti-amygdala: The amygdala is the part of the brain that provides the automatic response to any perception of attack. This response happens regardless of whether the attack is real or imagined, physical or verbal, local or remote. These hormones create the physical preparation for our defence for the attack. Sometimes, this preparation is counter-productive. One of the best ways to bypass the effects of this system, when those effects are unwanted, is to ask yourself a question that requires a concrete answer. In many interactions, it can also be beneficial to acknowledge our emotional state. So, a very effective method to improve interpersonal communication is to discuss and name the emotional state. This is a question that requires a factual answer, since it requires choosing a name for the emotion, plus it establishes some of the context for the encounter.

It is also greatly helpful to have a working vocabulary of the words that express emotion. This way, we not only can better evaluate and express our own emotions, but we can also assist others in expressing theirs. For example, “It seems to me like your are feeling disappointed, or is it more like anger?” Yes, the meaning of the words “disappointed” and “anger” are quite common knowledge. The point here is not to learn rarely used words to express emotion. It is also not necessary to be able to recite the definitions of a list of words to express emotion. If I have given some thought to the meaning of these words, and considered the nuances and distinction between closely related words, then it will be easier, and more effective, for me to choose the right word for the moment.


Book sources:

  • “The Holy Bible” by God The Holy Spirit
  • “Communication Catalyst” by Mickey Connolly and Richard Rianoshek https://www.conversant.com/resources/books/
  • “The Ideal Team Player” by Patrick Lencioni https://www.tablegroup.com/books/ideal-team-player
  • “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect“ by John Maxwell 
  • “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl
  • “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves
  • “Self-Esteem: By God’s Design” by Larry Day
  • “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
  • “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” by Stephen Covey
  • “Magic Words” by Tim David

Film sources:

Training courses:

Psalm 42:11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, [who is] the health of my countenance, and my God.

Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart doeth good [like] a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Romans 12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep [him] in perfect peace, [whose] mind [is] stayed [on thee]: because he trusteth in thee.

Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

Psalm 144:15 Happy [is that] people, that is in such a case: [yea], happy [is that] people, whose God [is] the LORD.

Numbers 6:26 The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

Proverbs 16:20 He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy [is] he.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

John 13:17 If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.


There are five physical senses: Sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. With each of these senses you can experience pleasure or discomfort. That is why the sense of direction and sense of balance are not listed among the five senses. This “expression project” is more about the emotional senses, rather than the physical senses. There are also other senses — but these ones are neither physical nor emotional, though they may be the source of some emotions:

  • Love — action based on a sense of desiring what is best for another person — a source of affection
  • Faith — decision based on a sense that the trustworthiness is reasonably credible — a source of confidence
  • Purpose — sense of calling — gift from your Creator — a source of enthusiasm
  • Peace — sense of assurance based on putting your faith into something trustworthy — a source of tranquility
  • Joy — sense of buoyancy — gift from your Saviour — a source of happiness
  • Hope — faith in the future — a source of optimism
  • Confusion — sense of bewilderment — can be a source of grief, anger, fear, or disgust — could also inspire one to find the answer

Degrees of emotion may have different names. We could say “very angry” or we could say “enraged” or “infuriated” instead.

Categories for the sources of emotions:

  • Proactive
  • Responsive
  • Reactive

Categories and subcategories for the types of emotions:

Reinforcing

  • Happiness
  • Tranquillity
  • Confidence
  • Affection
  • Gratitude
  • Enthusiasm
  • Dignity
  • Amusement
  • Encouragement
  • Inspiration
  • Respect
  • Compassion

Guarding

  • Grief
  • Disgust
  • Anger
  • Fear

Conditional

  • Intensity: Extreme – Slight
  • Energy: Excitement – Calmness – Draining
  • Desire: Good – Preference – Evil
  • Attention: Awe – Oblivious – Scorn
  • Care: Enthusiasm – Apathy – Antagonism
  • Interest: Multiply attention times care

emotionalintelligence-1

This diagram is intended to represent the proximity, not the size, of the four components of emotional intelligence (savvy), a.k.a., people smarts. Self awareness supports all of the abilities, but what we really want, ultimately, is healthy relationships. If you have a database of customers and business partners, then you could call this “relationship management” instead of “healthy relationships,” but that might be too cold for your liking.

Foundation of character virtues:

  • Humility — the chief of character virtues
  • Courage — valour — “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” — C. S. Lewis

Columns of character virtues which vertically support the foundation of humility and courage, and reach down to the bedrock:

  • Generosity — selfless — charitable — helpful
  • Forgiveness — grace — mercy
  • Compassion — grace — mercy
  • Gratitude
  • Kindness — politeness — friendliness
  • Integrity — ethics — honesty
  • Authenticity
  • Diligence — grit — conscientious — resolve — perseverance — tenacity — discipline
  • Justice
  • Honour — reverence
  • Prudence — good judgement based on wisdom (wholesome knowledge)
  • Love (verb: action based on desiring what is best for another person)
  • Frugality — economy — stewardship
  • Dignity — respectability — cleanliness
  • Temperance — patience — sobriety — moderation
  • Fidelity — devotion — dependability — trustworthy — loyal
  • Joy — spirit — enthusiasm — humour — wit — happiness
  • Initiative — ambition — hunger — industriousness — creativity
  • Responsibility — earnest — gravity
  • Faith — belief — trust — hope — peace — optimism

Bedrock of principles — truth — universal laws

Want to hear more?

 

Reminder: One-Year Bible Reading Schedule —

Tornado+Lightning

We would like to highly encourage you to read through the Bible each year, in conjunction with other biblical studies. That is why we have been posting this each December, even though it is the same schedule each year. This reading schedule has been incorporated into our online software, for KJV Bible reading and searching, that you can access for free without any advertisements or cookies.

We have tried several Bible reading schedules. There are some preferences that we wanted to incorporate into the plan, so we have made our own. Here are some of the features of this schedule:

  • It is designed for reading aloud.
  • The amount of reading is fairly consistent each day, about twelve to fourteen minutes, so you can reliably fit it into your schedule.
  • Each chapter is read completely, instead of breaking the chapter up across different days. We have found it to be distracting to keep in mind a specific verse number to end the day’s reading. When we know the entire chapter is included, then we can focus on reading and just check the schedule chart between chapters.
  • The chapters are isolated when they include many names that are hard to pronounce, so easier passages fill in that day’s reading. Consecutive chapters of difficult reading are on separate days, requiring less endurance of the tongue.
  • The schedule can be printed double-sided on a single sheet of A4 or US letter size paper.
  • It can be folded in quarters and used as a bookmark for the next day’s Old Testament reading.

We have been using this schedule since January 1st 2015 and it has worked well for us. We plan to continue using this plan for the foreseeable future. As we have done with other reading schedules, we make a pen mark on the date for today’s reading, then fold it with the pen mark inside, so the fresh ink does not rub off inside the Bible. By the end of the year, the paper is fairly well worn, so we just print a new one.

Movember02

Want to hear more about free stuff that can be done for your health?

Better Than Maple Syrup —

01-Icebreaker

This is my first (icebreaker) speech for Toastmasters.

Here are the links to the resources I recommended in the speech:
TED Talk
The Table Group

Want to hear more?

Audience —

audience

Are we all to go and wash ourselves seven times in the Jordan river? 2 Kings 5:10

Are we all commanded to go to Nineveh? Jonah 1:1-2

Are we all to go and wash in the pool of Siloam? John 9:7

Are we all to praise God seven times every day? Psalm 119:164

Are we all to rise every night at midnight to thank God? Psalm 119:62

Are we all to beat our swords into plowshares? Isaiah 2:4

Are we all to beat our plowshares into swords? Joel 3:10

Are we all apostles? 1 Corinthians 12:27-30

Are we all watchmen? Ezekiel 3:17

Want to hear more?

Decisions Decisions —

VennDiagram

Salvation is one form of decision, but it is not just any kind of decision. It is a very specific type of decision, so it might be misleading to say that salvation is a decision, unless the meaning is clarified.

Green set = all decisions
Black set = conscious decisions
Blue set = preferences
Gray set = beliefs
Yellow set = humility
Intersection of yellow set and gray set = salvation
Note: This Venn diagram is not to scale

James 4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

Isaiah 57:15 For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name [is] Holy; I dwell in the high and holy [place,] with him also [that is] of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

Sometimes, humility can be quite difficult. However, humility becomes completely effortless when I see the glory of God, compared to my stupid, filthy weakness. It is no achievement, virtue, or accomplishment to turn from our sinfulness to His Way. It is the opposite of achievement. It is humility in response to God’s glory. One day, all will respond in humility in response to God’s unveiled glory — every knee shall bow — there will be no choice, which is why salvation can only be obtained before that day. However, in this life, God reveals to each person just the right amount of glory so that the choice is still personal.

As shown in the Venn diagram, there is an intersection between the following two categories of decision that will result in one receiving complete and eternal pardon for one’s sins — salvation:

  1. Belief: I must decide to believe in the one true, holy, loving, forgiving God who created everything, as taught in the Holy Bible — faith.
  2. Humility: I must make the humble decision that God’s Way is the right way, and forsake my sinful way — repentance.

Matthew 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, [thou] that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under [her] wings, and ye would not!

John 5:39-40
39 Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.
40 And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life.

Deuteronomy 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, [that] I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Joshua 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

Proverbs 1:28-30
28 Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:
29 For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:
30 They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.

Revelation 22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.

Want to hear more?

The Power Of Satan —

fire_fist

Satan was lying when he said he could give the kingdoms of this world to whomsoever he will. Satan does have power, but not that power. Satan is the leader of the spiritual wickedness in high places. Satan is the god of this world. Satan is the prince of the power of the air.

Ephesians 6:10-13
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].
13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Though Satan is the most powerful of the fallen angels, and more powerful than any human, Satan’s power is limited. Satan is not a competing god with the true God. Satan is completely constrained by what God allows him to do.

God limits what Satan is allowed to do that will affect my physical world. I limit what Satan is allowed to do that will affect my soul. Not that I have more power than Satan, but that I can be prepared for Satan attacks by putting on the whole armour of God. And that I have power to call out to God for help. “Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.” There are some other prayers that God might answer “no” or “wait,” but God will always answer “yes” to my prayer to protect my soul from Satan’s attack.

Want to hear more?

The Abundant Life —

falls.png

John 10:10 I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.

Luke 9:23 And he said to [them] all, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

Regarding the above verse, everyone knows and agrees that Jesus did not mean to go pick up a big piece of wood and get killed. So, what did He mean? Here is one way to look at it.

deny himself take up his cross daily follow me
Don’t be self-centred. Pour out your life for others — live for others. Be like Jesus.

Matthew 20:28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

Jesus not only died for us, He also lived for us.

1 John 4:9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

I have the power of the resurrection to help me live for others to an extreme; minister; walk in newness of life; deny myself; be tenderhearted, kind, and forgiving; live the abundant life. Yes, that describes the abundant life.

Romans 6:4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

We are not going to stay awake continuously serving others until we die from exhaustion. We are not going to give away every mite we receive until we die of starvation. We need to fuel the engine to drive the increase, so that we can give from the abundance. Allow God to bless others through you.

Acts 20:35 I have showed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Beg God to bless others through you.

We can tell that Job and Stephen learned this “secret” of the abundant life, because we know they had peace, joy, hope, longsuffering, love, faith — the fruit of the Spirit. This fruit is the antidote to self-centredness. This fruit enables us to live for others. This fruit inspires us to be like Jesus. This fruit is the source of the abundant life. There is no life more rewarding than a life lived in love, in service for others — for their sake — for Christ’s sake.

Want to hear more?

Swallow A Camel —

camel_bactrian.png

Protégé: Why do you insist on everything being rational?
Mentor: You have asked a question. When I answer your question, is it OK if my answer is irrational?

Of course, a sane student will realise that life becomes completely futile and chaotic if we tolerate irrational conclusions. If inconsistencies are accepted as valid, it is not even possible to find anything to be true. If a statement is accepted as correct, and the opposite is also accepted as correct, then we are no longer talking about Truth, but opinion, error, or folly.

Jesus had some harsh words to say to those who believed, and especially those who taught, inconsistent doctrine.

What is a biblical approach to interpreting Scripture?

To answer this question, a thorough investigation would include proper reverence to the use of reason. We would do well to show, from Scripture, that two contradictory conclusions cannot both be true within the same context.

For example, the Bible clearly says that “it is impossible for God to lie” (Hebrews 6:18). Because of this, we cannot come to any conclusion, or interpret any scripture, as if God was lying. If we did, we would essentially be throwing out all of the verses and lessons showing us that God does not lie.

The basis of non-contradiction is not disproven by examples of seeming contradiction, such as:

  • “there is one God”
  • the trinity of the Godhead
  • “there be gods many”

This is because those are each true in separate contexts.

Also, there are some doctrines that do not seem to be reasonable. For example, it does not make sense that God would love us while we are sinners. However, this is not a contradiction within the teachings of Scripture, but a discrepancy between the mind of God and the mind of finite humans.

There is a law, as exemplified in Scripture, that all conclusions must abide by logic. This is not the kind of law that was decreed or legislated, but discovered, as a natural law, like mathematics.

Here are some biblical examples of this fundamental law:
1) Jesus demonstrated reason when He taught the Scriptures. Here is one illustration. The disciples thought Jesus was scolding them because they forgot to bring bread. Jesus rebuked them for such thinking. The reason Jesus gave them for His chiding was that He had miraculously fed thousands of people, on two different occasions, so He obviously was not referring to a lack of bread.
2) Jesus says “ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” We cannot know the truth if contradictions can be true. Our grasp of the truth would continually elude us.
3) Jesus asserted that it is not OK for doctrine to be contradictory, for example, in Mark 12:27, denouncing the Sadducees doctrinal inconsistency Jesus said, “ye therefore do greatly err.” http://www.whythawye.me/bible/html/830.html
4) There are many occasions in the epistles when logical deduction is employed, such as: Hebrews 8:7 “For if that first [covenant] had been faultless, then should no place have been sought for the second.” Another one is: Romans 3:28 “Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.”

We will not understand everything about God or doctrine, but what we do understand will be consistent. The more we understand it, the more consistent it will be. If I find some teachings in the Bible that seem to be inconsistent, it is because my understanding is incomplete.

Want to hear more?

Light Of True Liberty —

7+reasons

Please allow us to draw your attention to a global ministry we hope will grow to bless many millions. Light of True Liberty is a national system without compromise with biblical principles of government.

This is NOT a political campaign!
This is NOT a political party!
This is NOT suggesting or promoting insurrection against any government!

This IS the hope that new nations will be peacefully formed, based on biblical principles of government!

Daniel 4:17 The most High ruleth in the kingdom of men, and giveth it to whomsoever he will, and setteth up over it the basest of men.

John 19:10-11
10 Then saith Pilate unto him, Speakest thou not unto me? knowest thou not that I have power to crucify thee, and have power to release thee?
11 Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power [at all] against me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin.

Romans 13:1 There is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

Psalm 33:12 Blessed [is] the nation whose God [is] the LORD

Here is part of a list of reasons someone might want to live in such a country — please see the link below for a longer list:
▪ You want to live in a country that is pro-life and defends the innocent and vulnerable — an ethos of life, where a fellow human does not need to be perfect, or convenient, to be fully valued.
▪ You want to live in a country where the light of true liberty shines out to the world, benefitting billions.
▪ You want to live in a country where the poor get complete justice, not just the wealthy.
▪ You want to live in a country where business is allowed to thrive and flourish, to the benefit of society, rather than government hindering and harassing the free market.
▪ You are not looking for Utopia, just the liberty and responsibility that God offers to those who govern their country by His principles in His Word, the Holy Bible.

Please see more.